Play dough- How I made it

If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen that I recently made Jaxon some non toxic play dough at home. When I say its easy to make I mean it, it took me less than 10 minutes from start to finish and has turned out amazingly!

I trolled the internet for a while looking for a recipe that didn’t take too much and didn’t take a long time to make because in all honesty I am lazy and didn’t want to spend a lot of money. Luckily I had almost all of the ingredients at home already, all I had to buy was  a few small bits that you can pick up in any grocery store!

So this is what you’ll need:

1 cup of flour (I used plain flour)

1 cup of water 

1/3 cup of salt (I just used the cheap table salt)

2 TEASPOONS of cream of tartar (this is found in the home baking section in most supermarkets)

1 TABLESPOON of vegetable oil

Any food colouring

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Step by step;

I put the flour, salt and cream of tartar in a pan (Hob OFF) gave it a mix through then added the vegetable oil and water.

Turn the hob on to a low/medium heat and start stirring the mixture while the hob gets warm. When the mixture starts to get a bit sticky add the food colouring, I used blue and red to make a purple colour and I had to use a lot of food colouring to get it to take.

Just keep mixing the pot of goop while it heats up and I kind of just went by my own judgement as to when it was done, it starts to get too stiff to mix and thats when I took it out of the hob and spooned the dough onto my chopping board to let it cool.

Mine was still a bit lumpy so while it was cooling I just played around with it to make it softer and smoother.

Jax loved it! We have played with it for over a week now and its not dried out at all (Obviously keep it in an air tight container when not being used) but I still think my favourite thing about this is that I know if Jax decided to put any in his mouth its not toxic, the salt isn’t great for him but a tiny amount of play dough isn’t going to hurt!

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If you give it a go please let me know how you get on!!

 

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Keeping Up With The Housework

I know what you’re thinking, housework? You can’t keep up with it!

I have days, weeks or months where I can barely keep the house from falling apart. But recently I have been a domestic goddess. The laundry is being done, the kitchen is clean more often than not, I am able to vacuum the house a few times a week again AND I’m having the time to watch my TV shows.

I have no idea how I am doing it but let me tell you I am loving it. My house isn’t perfect but its far less disastrous than it has been.

I will let you in on a little secret, JAXON IS NAPPING.

If I go out he will nap on and off in his buggy which is great but he has never really been a cot napper. That has changed recently and he has been going down in his cot for his naps when I spend the day at home and he has slept for 1.5-2.5 hours a day. That time he gives me is when I blitz the house and try to get on top of the days mess. This is what I have been doing to keep on top of everything. I pick a room a day and make that room my bitch.

It gets tidied, vacuumed, dusted, and air freshened; Then if I have time left which, I usually do I sit down with a coffee and my laptop to either blog or do the online grocery shop.

I have to say I freaking LOVE these cot naps, they are literally saving my sanity and if Im honest I think its keeping my anxiety at bay. I truly do think that being able to keep my house clean and more importantly tidy it helping to keep my mind clean and tidy. Having the time to de clutter and sort out almost helps me de clutter and sort out my thoughts, which to some I know sounds stupid but it really helps me.

I have bought so many bottles of Zoflora because I found it on offer in my local Home Bargains. I gotta tell ya this stuff is like my drug of choice, it makes everything clean and my whole house smell delicious. I must have looked like a mad woman when I saw it on offer because I defiantly scooped the whole shelf load into my basket with one sweep.

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I have zero regrets.

I really hope this domestic goddess that has awoken inside of me doesn’t decide to take a vacation, I am really enjoying feeling like I have this ‘adulting’ thing down.

 

Baby No. 2

Before you go assuming, no I am not pregnant.

But we have been talking about it a lot recently, and its got me thinking about how different it would be with another baby. I mean I struggle with space as it is, how would another tiny human and all of the stuff the tiny baby would need fit in my already cluttered and crowded house?

I also worry about how I would cope being pregnant, after losing a baby and then having the complications with Jax. It is something I constantly think about. I worry about getting pre eclampsia again and having to be induced early, then having to worry about all of the possible side effects the early labour could have on my baby. I know I might not get pre eclampsia again but it is a high chance that I will and it worrys me.

I also think about who would look after Jaxon when I go to into labour. Obviously I will have Matthew with me and I would like my mum to be with me again but they are the only two people I would ever trust to have my baby. I mean if I end up having another C section I will more than likely be in the hospital for a few days again and I couldn’t leave Jax with anyone other than my mum or Matthew, so I need to consider this.

I also worry about how Jax will be if and when another baby comes along; he’s such a mummys boy (which I LOVE) but he gets so jealous when I hold another baby or play with another toddler too much. So I do worry about how it will effect him and how it will impact my relationship with him, I wouldn’t be able to cope if I destroyed the bond I have with him.

I would probably tandem feed if Jaxon hasn’t self weaned by the time the next baby comes along, but I am also worried about how exhausting it would be.

I worry about so much when it comes to having another baby but I think I won’t know how to handle any of this until the time actually comes.

 

Dealing With A Toddler

Since Jaxons started walking I can honestly say my life has changed so much. He is no longer finding his feet, this boy has found his feet and has taken off running and don’t I know it.

We have had so many bumps and bruises since he’s been walking and the amount of times he has made my heart stop when he has fallen its honestly too many to count! We have had split lips and bruised foreheads. Its so upsetting seeing his bumps and bruises but its one of the best things in the world seeing him explore and learn all of these new things so quickly.

Its true what they say, boys are constantly on the move and are such little daredevils. Jaxons new favourite game is to climb up onto the sofa, shout for me and once he has my attention he full speed runs off of the sofa and expects me to launch myself across the room to catch him. By the way I have caught him every single time, and got some bruises of my own to show for it. It gives me a heart attack every single time but his little laugh is still my favourite sound in the world and I’d do anything to hear that sound.

Toddlers are funny little things, the way they walk reminds me of a drunk person, the way they wobble about and stagger to the side when they lose their balance slightly. The way their little tummy seems to pop out just like a beer belly and how quickly they move their tiny feet because they are always in a hurry; this just melts my heart to see.

I recently took Jax into sainsburys with just his reins on as I was just nipping in to grab some dry shampoo for my sister and as I reached up to grab a can I heard such a loud noise and as I looked down all I could see was Jaxons little grin as he continued to pull shampoo and conditioner off of the shelves and onto the floor. Of course as I started to pick them up and put them back he then thought this was a great game and started pulling more off quicker than I could pick them up. Luckily a kind lady offered to help me put them back as she too said she had been in this exact situation before.

I love the toddler temper tantrums because they are completely ridiculous. Jaxon once threw a temper tantrum because he wanted his water bottle so I gave him his water bottle and this apparently wasn’t acceptable so que the meltdown. Holy hell he completely freaked out at me, threw himself on the floor and screamed, I am still not sure what I did wrong but according to Jaxon I was seriously out of line.

Or the time I stopped Jaxon from falling off the sofa backwards this caused him to start screaming and kicking, still have no idea what I did wrong but it must have been something huge to him because the tantrum he threw was record breaking.

You gotta love toddlers.

Postpartum -Love/Hate Relationship

I know I have done a blog post in the past about my postpartum body and how I am trying to appreciate it but recently I have been really struggling with my ‘mum tum’ or in all honesty my entire ‘mum bod’. I have a huge issue with my tummy recently because its wobbly, its huge (compared to how it was before it housed a tiny baby) and I don’t know if its all in my head or if its real but I swear I’ve got a slight overhang of excess skin that just won’t go away.

I have been trying so hard to love my body because I know how amazing my body is for growing and birthing a perfect baby. But it is just so hard to look at my body and see it how it is.

I always see these other mums who have shrunk down to their pre pregnancy size and have flat toned stomachs again, they literally look like they were never even pregnant. Then I look at myself and I can’t shake the feeling that I should try harder, or workout more. I do miss my old lifestyle of going to the gym and eating healthy every single meal time but I just don’t have the time or the money to live like that anymore. So I feel like I should start to live and love the life I have now, I should start trying to love my ‘mom bod’ in all its wobbly glory. This doesn’t mean I am going to stop trying to lose weight or get back to my old shape or size but it just means I am going to try to hate my current body a little less.

I am making more effort to eat more salads and less bread. Its not as easy to make a salad compared to a classic peanut butter and jelly sandwich but if I make the effort to prep my meals like I used too then I am able to stick to a healthier meal plan throughout the week and hopefully be able to shift a few pounds.

I am going to try to make more of an effort to go on my walks again but in all honesty its hard to find the motivation to walk long distance in this suffocating heat. Plus Jaxon is officially walking now and is becoming less inclined to sit in his buggy for more than half an hour, so its hard to get my blood pumping when I am walking at the toddler pace; But he is so cute and excitable when he’s out so its worth it!

Extended Breastfeeding

Okay so I have done a post in the past about why I breastfeed and how much I love it but I thought I would do an up to date post about my breastfeeding experience.

Jaxon is now 14 months old, and we are still breastfeeding. Jaxon still feeds on demand and somedays he has a lot more than others. I don’t usually mind how little or much he wants to feed except when people say how he shouldn’t be feeding this often at his age.

Ive only been told once or twice but its stuck with me because 1. its none of your business how often my baby wants a boob; And 2. if people did their research they would see how many benefits there are for babies to still breastfeed well into their toddler years.

Breastfeeding Jaxon is probably one of my most treasured experiences and even though at times it is seriously draining its also time for me to just sit and be with my boy.

I got asked when Jaxon was 4 months old if I was going to give up when he got teeth, this was the most ridiculous question to me because I have always planned on letting Jax self wean whenever he is ready. TWELVE teeth in and I can understand why I was asked that. Jaxon bites me constantly and if he has a shallow latch its agony. BUT I am so glad I have preserved through it all because I honestly don’t want to stop breastfeeding anytime soon.

I often get told that the reason Jaxon never sleeps through the night is because he is breastfed but I still don’t think that he would sleep even if he was formula fed, I do think this is a very difficult thing to judge.

Now that Jaxon is getting more and more independent every day it is nice to see him coming back for a quick ‘check in’ feed. As in he can be off playing and then will just come back to me ask for his boob (taps my boobs) has a little top up then he goes off again to play. I think its lovely that he comes back to have a quick hug and boob.

I am also going to say, I am so proud of myself for breastfeeding Jaxon this long with no intention of stopping him before he is ready. The nights are long and tiring being the only one he wants for comfort but its also nice knowing I’m the only one who can sooth him when he’s sad.

I recently had some younger girls saying that my baby looked ‘too big to still be breastfed’. Typically the day I got these comments I was in no way up for confrontation so I just ignored the comments and carried on feeding my baby.

My argument is this; would you look down or make nasty comments to a mother who hands her toddler a bottle of milk? No I don’t think you would. Because if a toddler is seen to be having a bottle of milk its acceptable, because if its comforting them to have a nice warm bottle of milk then who are we to say anything?

But if its a boob that is comforting the toddler its seen as unacceptable or disgusting. I have heard people say that breastfeeding a toddler is purely for the mothers benefit; How its selfish of the mother to continue breastfeeding into toddler years.

Now let me tell you how wrong these comments are, feeding a baby with a mouth full of teeth is not for my benefit in the slightest. Of course I do love the bonding and cuddles with my boy however when my nipples are being bitten or chewed on I sit and think about how ridiculous these comments are. Why would any mother want to purposely be in agony multiple times a day? NEWSFLASH we don’t. But we sacrifices our nipples and our whole body for our little babies because we know how much comfort it brings.

Not to mention how breastmilk continues to change and adapt to our babies needs up until they are two or three, the antibodies are still there and still protecting against cold and flus. There are so many articles, books, papers written on the benefits of extended breastfeeding and if you do ever have any questions about it then they are all readily accessible with a simple google search. Even from my personal experience I have noticed how quickly Jaxon can fight off a cold before it really hits him, and I’ve noticed whenever a cold starts to hit him he starts nursing ALOT more and I do believe its because he knows that the milk I make for him will help fight off whatever bugs are trying to attack his immune system.

My favourite find about extended breastfeeding is how it helps to raise a strong, confident baby who knows their mothers love is always there. Breastfeeding a toddler is more than food, its a reassurance that mummy is there, that mummy loves them and letting a baby self wean from the breast helps to create a trusting, confident, secure little human. Whenever Jaxons has a slight bump or falls down or scares himself while he’s off playing he comes running over and taps my chest, asking for some milk and a booby cuddle. BECAUSE IT COMFORTS HIM!

I will continue to breastfeed Jaxon until he tells me or shows me he no longer wants or needs me in that way anymore.

 

Jaxons 1st birthday

My baby is officially a whole year old.

I have kept a tiny human alive for over a year now and to me that is fucking incredible considering I have never been able to keep a plant alive for more than a week.

For Jaxons first birthday I wanted to do something special. I wanted to create a day that was full of fun and love for my perfect little man.

I wanted to have a big party with everyone who loves him there to celebrate what an amazing, clever little boy he is. So I went to the same venue my mum hired for my baby shower and I hired out the same room. I knew the food was amazing there as we had the buffet for my baby shower and it was incredible. A massive selection of gourmet foods and even a vegan option for my little sister.

I had decided on a Mickey Mouse themed birthday party as let’s face it, who doesn’t love Mickey and his friends?

I had Jaxons birthday cake custom made by a local cake shop and it was out of this world!

The top tier was vanilla sponge with chocolate chips.

The second tier was white chocolate sponge and the bottom tier was a double chocolate.

The whole cake had butter cream fillings throughout the layers and the cream was coated over all three layers. Then the icing was on top and even the icing was delicate and full of flavour.

I don’t usually like fondant icing but this was so good I was eating it as I was cutting the cake. The lady who made his cake has also been so amazing and has taken the icing figure of Mickey and his Ballon back and is having it coated in a resin so I can keep it as an ornament. I mean how sweet is that?

The whole day went off perfectly, I got to the venue a couple hours earlier than the guests were due to arrive so I could put the balloons and decorations out without the stress of people showing up before it was ready.

Once the room was finished I was able to sit down for half an hour and have a drink and let Jaxon have a well needed nap before his party.

Jaxon got spoiled by so many amazing presents and I had requested on the invitations that people bring him a book and sign the inside of the book as a wonderful keepsake. I have always cherished my books and I hope to encourage Jaxon to be a bookworm too!

The books that Jaxon got will be cherished and loved for so many years and hopefully he will be able to read the same books to his baby one day too. I know I’m so sentimental and sappy.

I was given an idea by my friend Chloe to make sweet cones for everyone instead of party bags and I am so glad I did.

Chloe had stickers personalised to fit the theme of the party and they were just beautiful and then we spent a couple afternoons at mine filling the cones (and my face) with a different array of gummy sweets.

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I honestly couldn’t have hoped for a better day to celebrate my wonderful miracle babys first birthday.

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Broccoli & Cheese muffins

So let’s just start this off by telling you all the truth.

I HATE COOKING.

Like despise being in the kitchen, I feel like I spend hours cooking for it to just disappear within minutes, then I’m usually left to clean the kitchen after (although recently my OH has been brilliant at doing the kitchen while I put Jaxon to bed).

But I decided to try and be a ‘Pinterest mum’ for a change and cook something yummy for Jaxon. So I decided I would try one of these veggie muffin recipes.

I got a basic savoury muffin recipe from google. And then I added a couple cups of cheese and a medium sized broccoli head (cooked and then finely chopped/ smashed).

They were actually a huge success and tasted so good I ate three before they had even cooled down enough for me to give one to Jaxon. In my defence I had to make sure they weren’t poisoned- it was my cooking afterall.

Jaxon loves them! So much so that my friend Kez told me to try swapping the broccoli for spinach. I did and they were amazing too!

The thing I like most about the muffins is:

1. Jaxon can never eat more than one so I have loads.

2. They can be frozen.

3. They are a really easy way to get veggies into fussy eaters.

4. They are super easy to make!

I’m not going to lie, cooking these muffins for Jaxon has definitely boosted my confidence in making more foods for him that I would usually be too afraid of.

I find myself constantly on Pinterest now looking at other new recipes that I can whip up and batch cook to load into my freezer. It’s also brilliant because it’s a way I can get veggies into my OH (he’s like having another child when it comes to dinners).

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The recipe I used is

1 medium head of broccoli

1 cup of plain flour

5 oz of grated cheese/ this is a rough estimate for a coupe handfuls

6 fluid oz of milk (whole milk is best if cooking for babies)

3 TBSP of virgin olive oil

3 TSP of baking powder / do not use if using self raising flour

1 large egg / 2 small eggs

I pre heated my oven at 180 degrees

I cooked the broccoli until soft and then I shoved it in my food processor but you can smash with a fork or masher.

Mix the flour, broccoli, cheese and baking powder into a big bowl.

Add the liquids; egg, milk and oil.

Mix it well until it’s a sticky paste, I always tend to have to add a pinch more flour or a bit more cheese until I’m happy with the texture.

Grease a muffin tray, I use coconut oil or unsalted butter.

Fill the muffin tray with your mixture and cook for roughly 20-25 minutes or until the tops are slightly golden.

Let them cool and enjoy!

The Little Things

Recently I have felt like I have been suffocating from my life, everything has been getting to be too much for me and in all honesty I’ve been struggling to keep a smile on my face.

So I have decided I am going to find the good in every single day.

Today for example, Jaxon had a complete meltdown while I was getting him dressed but then afterwards he gave me a huge cuddle. The cuddle was the good of course.

Even on the days when the house is a complete shit hole, the laundry needs doing and the rabbit hutch stinks; I look around and make sure I remind myself how blessed I am to have this house, and the stuff that is everywhere making it a mess. I remind myself how snuggly my bunny is and how much Jaxon loves him.

On the days when is pissing it down with rain I choose to look at how much easier it will be to get around town because no one else is crazy enough to go out in it. Or I look at how much easier it is to get Jaxon to nap when he’s all wrapped up in his buggy.

When Jaxon isn’t feeling great I look at the good in how he only wants me (or my boobs) for comfort, and how he just wants to sit and cuddle for hours… even if I do have to endure the hell that is Hey DUGGEE on repeat for the 6589 time that day.

It’s really not as easy as it sounds to find the good in every day when you’re struggling with PND/PNA and you’re running on fumes because your baby has still never slept through the night once in over a year. But I’m trying. I don’t want to be the mum who is always moaning or shouting. I don’t want to be the mum who is always miserable and grumpy.

I want to be the very best mum I can be for my son and that is all I am working towards. So if that means sitting down at the end of each day and writing a list of all the good things that have happened that day so be it.

I am going to start doing things that make me happy every day, if that is taking Jaxon to the park and seeing him on the swings or taking ten minutes to myself in the evening to ready my book or have a drink. I am going to find something good.

TheLetDown- Netflix

First I would like to say that I have only watched the first episode and this is my personal opinion/ reaction to it. 

So this is the show that I am seeing loads of hype about online, so I thought I would give it a go and see if its actually as funny as everyone is saying.

I got about ten minutes in when I realised I don’t find the show funny at all, I think it was supposed to highlight the struggles of motherhood in a funny way but to me it was just upsetting.

It hit hard for me when I realised so many women are going through the same thing, they must be because otherwise why would they have made a TV show highlighting the exact struggles that make motherhood so damn hard and so damn lonely.

The first episode had me and my friend nearly in tears and not with laughter. It made us want to cry when we saw the dickhead husband who was laughing and joking about how much of a prick he is when it comes to his wife and baby. How he purposely hides in his car if he gets home and his baby is awake.

If thats comedy then I’m done. This doesn’t seem like it should be a comedy for new mums, it feels like it should be a tragic warning of what could be coming.

I haven’t watched any more and I don’t intend too.